Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The fight.

I'm talking about the mental fight that living a healthy lifestyle takes.
Disclaimer: This is going to be a more or less ranting/whining post.
This weekend, my dad and I ran a total of six miles in preparation for the 5k we're scheduled to run this coming Saturday. Why is it so damn hard for me to just run? Just take off and feel my feet on the pavement and feel good about what I'm doing?
No.
I start thinking and my thoughts cloud my mind. It's too hot. I'm too tired. Why am I even trying? I'm too slow. I'm too fat. I'm too wide and taking up the whole sidewalk. My dad must hate running with me.
I am literally mean to myself while I'm running. It is not good. Usually I can try to block those thoughts out of my head and focus on the goal, but lately my mind's been foggy.
I just hope I can keep it together for this weekend's race. sigh.

Dad and I after 3 miles on Saturday

In other news, My baby boy is 6 months old today! Goodness, I can't believe it. He is at such a FUN age..he laughs uncontrollably, babbles a ton and is so very curious. My other internal fight is how much I'm away from him at work. At this point I don't really feel that there's any way around that fact. I literally have a sinking feeling Tuesday-Friday when I drop him off at daycare at the crack of dawn. He shouldn't be spending more time away from Mom and Dad than with. It's just not fair and I need to figure out some way around it. I love him so much. I'll post his 6 month recap after his 6mos checkup!
 My sweet Bradley bear <3

1 comment:

Amy Higgins said...

My best runs are when I just run. no goal, no pace just run. I let my mind escape what I am doing. and honestly, my runs have gotten easier the more miles I do. after 3 miles it because automatic. sometimes my 3 miles runs are HARDER than my long runs on sundays. The more mileage you start accumulating the easier it becomes. Try doing some sprints, it keeps your mind on times, just 1 minute sprinting! and what not, and not a whole lot of time to think of other things.