Friday, April 26, 2013

Weigh In {good, bad & ugly}

Ugh, so no loss this week. I actually weighed in at 211.4 which is a gain of +.6 from last week. In fact, I've been sneaking in peeks at the scle throughout the week and it's been fluctuating between 210-212 which has been my problem these past few weeks. I really need a break through.
40 weeks pregnant vs. 20 weeks postpartum

So yea, I am 20 weeks postpartum and as of today, I'm 7.4 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I had a little mental goal of making it to my pre-prenancy weight by Bradley's 4th month..we are now heading into his 5th month. So I am pretty disappointed in myself. I may be being a little hard on myself, but I have to be to stay accountable.
I need to get super strict..I've been slacking off lately. Too many sneaked Dr. Peppers..too many stops for cappuchino in the morning. Not good. I'm going to challenge myself to no "extras" this week. No Dr. Pepper, cappuchino, donuts, sweets after dinner, etc. Water and meals based on my meal plan. I also have two runs scheduled this week. That should do the trick.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

How having a baby affected my marriage

This is a pretty candid post and actually a little emotional to write. However, I think it needs to be said. There are so many blogs out there today that seem so cookie cutter and fake to me. Although I strive for excellence within my family, it would be a lie to say that things were amazing in the beginning of becoming a family of 3. That being said, my disclaimer is that I love us; as Mom, Dad and Brad and wouldn't have it any other way.
When we got married in 2009, we {I} wanted to start a family right away. We had already suffered one miscarriage and I think we were trying to compensate for that grief. We were also on that cloud 9 as happily married newlyweds and having a baby just seemed like the "right" thing for us to do. However, plans don't also work out the way you think they should. Two miscarriages later (3 all together), we were 3 years into our marriage..and no baby. That's not to say that in those 3 years we just sulked in infertility. We went on vacations, date nights, both of us went back to school and just really enjoyed eachother. Things weren't always perfect, but like I've said before..our love for eachother remained constant.

At our first baby appt at the fertility clinic April 2012

We were in a really good spot during my pregnancy with Bradley. We were on that cloud 9 feeling again. We were pregnant..and it was actually lasting! Our goal of becoming parents was finally happening and we were proud. Some of my favorite past times of my pregnancy are of us going shopping for Bradley and putting together his nursery.
I remember after Bradley was born this immediate sense of love. Seriously, a love that makes you feel like your heart could burst. A love that makes you want to shout from roof tops..and be that annoying person on facebook professing how much you love your life. I think we've all felt that a time or two.

When Jordan went back to work after Bradley was born is when things turned a little touchy. Granted, postpartum hormones are freaking crazy as it is..throw in a husband working third shift full time, going to school full time, and a beautiful baby that loved to fight sleep. I was a new mom who was still learning the ropes and I over analyzed everything (that is just my personality). I started to feel resentment towards Jordan for working/going to school as crazy as that sounds. I wasn't on a schedule with my baby as I hoped..I wasn't sleeping at night, going a day or so without showering, not putting on makeup or regular clothes. I just didn't feel like I had it all together like I thought I would. I was alone most of the day because with Jordan working 3rd shift, he'd be asleep during the day. There were times when I would just look at my phone wishing someone would text me! 
I wanted to be the best mom in the world. I had wanted to be a mom for so bad, so long that I had tremendous guilt for missing my "old life." I know now that I had postpartum depression, as much as I said I didn't and that I was fine. 

Things between me and Jordan had been pretty rocky the first month of Bradley's life. We pretty much glared at eachother all the time instead of having that warm, fuzzy feeling that I just knew for sure we would have. I felt such a wide spread of emotions; overwhelming love, guilt, apprehension, lonliness, etc and I didn't feel that Jordan was there for ME, as selfish as that sounds. Sometimes I couldn't even explain my feelings to him because they were all over the place. I tend to hold things in..I want to always look "put together" and "in control." Our communication was lacking. I know now that we were both under a lot of pressure in the transition. We said things we didn't mean, ignored eachother and focused solely on Bradley. All things you should NOT do!
Even nearly 5 months into parenthood, we still have to consciously put forth effort into our marriage. We have to remind eachother that even though Bradley is the center of our world, we need to make time for US too. I remember when Jordan's aunt offered to watch Bradley for an evening so we could go on a "date night." At first I wasn't so baby was probably only 8 weeks old, how does that look if the parents already need a night out? We went to dinner and really talked. It was, surprisingly, very refreshing.

Marriage is tricky and rewarding at the same time. You literally have to work at it I think sometimes we get lost in the busy schedules and emotions to remember that a simple hug or "how was your day?" goes a LONG way. I read something on facebook the other day that said: Build your spouse up so much that nothing in the world will ever be able to tear them down. I loved that. and that's what I'm striving for everyday.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Run for Boston

Yesterday my dad and I decided- spur of the moment- to run the charity 5k fun run for Boston. Apparently that was a nationwide event for the one week anniversary of the tragic bombing. I just happened to see the event on Facebook the Sunday prior.
My dad and I had a 2 mile run scheduled and I just happened to bring it up to him to see if he'd be interested as a "practice" run before our timed 5k on May 5th- he said sure!

**Oh- and one thing, I wanted to wear blue to honor the Boston marathon runner, but I didn't have a blue running shirt. So I picked this up from Walmart- incredible for $6.00!

The run was supposed to start at 6:30pm, but there was a DOWNPOUR of rain. Seriously, I was getting nervous. I hardly ever wear a jacket to run (I get way too hot) but I knew it wasn't going to be good running in freezing rain without a jacket. So, we waited around a bit to see if the rain would let up. Since this was just a fun run there wasn't an official "Go!" so people were just going whenever.
When the rain trickled off a little bit we headed out. It was still sprinkling and kind of cold, but no too bad. I just kept thinking of the victims at the Boston marathon- TRUE athletes- and that was my motivation.
Being that this wasn't a timed race there were quite a few walkers and kids..and strollers-which is fine- but I was using a lot of energy to pass them. About a mile in it started downpouring again. Not cool. But we kept going and finished- not stopping once!
This makes me super anxious for our race on May 5th. I know it's going to go great :)

I'll leave you with my sweet baby Bradley- my rolling over machine!

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Friday, April 19, 2013

Weigh In (good, bad & ugly)

So, I woke up this morning to weigh in. I was not really looking forward to it due to a number of reasons, but this is "good, bad & ugly" right? I was actually pleased to see 210.8. That is a loss of -1.2 from last week. So we are back to that "lose 2 lbs, gain it back" circle. I'm going to have a breakthrough this upcoming week though.
 40 weeks pregnant vs. 19 weeks postpartum

My good news is that I made a meal plan and stuck to it all week. The bad news? I have a new cappuchino. I've stopped to grab one 3 times this week on my way to work. That can't be good. I need to break's turning into an expensive, unhealthy habit. 
Another good thing is..people are noticing I've lost weight and not just because I had a baby. A few people around the office have said something positive to me or have commented on how I pack my lunch everyday with healthy food. It feels good.
I do plan on running 2x this weekend and just really keeping track of everything I eat. I really want to be in ONEderland..and soon!
Have a great weekend :)

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Running with Dad {update}

Wow, my 1st 5k of 2013 is in 3 weeks! I am super excited.
I haven't "trained" to run anything since 2011. You can read about that here.
I use "train" very, very lightly. When I first started "running" in 2010, I did the Couch to 5K 5x a week. I ran my 1st 5k and then..quit running. Why? Well honestly I don't like running.
I don't get that runner's high or that "free-ing" feeling.
I feel hot..and tired.
But when I've run before I dropped weight like crazy. I remember being able to fit into size 14 jeans after my 1st 5k (I'm in a postpartum size 16 right now). and it is a pretty accomplishing feeling when you've been able to run for quite some Monday.
On Monday I met my dad to go on a 3 mile run. We {I} decided to try to only stop twice. I was nervous to say the least. last week's run was terrible..I ended up walking most of it. And there is still that little girl in me that wants to make my dad proud. So that was my motivation.
We ended up running those 3 miles, only stopping briefly twice, in 44 minutes! I was pretty proud. I did feel accomplished..and hot. Like.. sweaty hot, not Mama Laughlin hot. lol!
So, after running my dad asked me if we were going to keep running. I pondered for a moment..hmm, sure why not. I've been training this hard so why stop?
I wish I would have thought that way back in 2010..I might actually like running.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Weigh In Friday (good, bad & ugly)

So I'm back to weighing in every Friday. I need to do this..for my accountability. I need to tell the world how fat I am..whatever works, right? So this morning I weighed in at 212.0. Ugh, loss of -.4 from last week? Not impressed.

Anyway, I'm going I do better this week. Not "I hope.." or "I'll try.." I WILL.
I plan on getting in 3 runs this weekend in preparation for my 5k on May 5th. And I'm making a meal plan on Sunday. I've really got to get down to business with my weight loss...
Have a happy & healthy weekend, y'all!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


Ahh, the simple life. Ha, yea right. Life is so far from simple these day. I want to get back to as close to 'simple' and easy going as possible. I am enjoying every little moment with my {4 month old} baby. I'm just in awe of all his little quirks and what difference a day makes..I feel like he does something new every day.
I feel like my days are so strapped..from work, to social media, to school, to marriage. I just want to simplify things and make everything more cohesive to our every day life. Here's what I'm doing:
  • Only checking FB, instagram (follow me: alliemarshall627) or youtube when I'm pumping breast milk. This is what I normally do anyway, but I'm just going to cut out all my other little extra times. I catch myself checking my social media way too often. For example: when I'm a passenger in the car which can be a perfect opportunity to have a real life conversation with whomever I'm in the car with (usually my hubby)
  • NOT taking summer classes!! I was originally going to sign up for a science credit that I need that meets Mondays/Wednesday from 7pm to 9pm. Then I thought about way. My baby boy needs me at night and I want to spend as much time with him as possible.
  • Meal planning. I need to plan better with my food..seriously. Sundays= meal plan.
  • Blogging Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I like to blog..I really do. I want to grow my blog and reach out to more bloggers in the new mom/weight loss community. I've been sucking at blogging lately though. I'm actually blogging from work right now...Not good.
  • Mondays blog will be our weekend wrap-up, Wednesdays will be random/recipes/Bradley/whatever and Friday will be my weigh in's
  • YES! Starting Friday real life weigh ins..the good, the bad and the ugly. Because I want to get to my goal weight dammit! I need to be accountable.
So, those are my goals. I want to excell in all areas of my life so these are just a few changes that I feel like I can make to be the best ME possible. See you Friday for Weigh In Day!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Bradley {four months}

You, my sweet baby Bradley bear, are four months old!! This month has been a with you. I am amazed..daily..but how much you've changed and learned. You have so many new little 'quirks' that have really kept me on my toes. Your daddy and I love you so very, very much!!
We went to your four month appointment on Monday (4/8/13) and were very happy to hear what a healthy boy you are! You weighed in at 17lbs and were 27'' long, 85th percentile for weight and 95th for height. You were given 4 shots and handled them like a champ; seeing you get shots still seems to make me tear up though. You are still wearing size 2 diapers and 6-9 month clothes. You are eating about 4oz every 2-2.5 hours and are still exclusively breast fed. 

This month it seemed like we watched a lot of basketball! Sometimes you didn't quite understand all the excitement, but you loved the quality time with mommy and daddy. You also reached a milestone this month: rolling over front to back, and back to front. You are also "talking" so so much. You "coo" and squeal all the time; your smile is contagious.
We celebrated your first Easter. We've learned that holidays are so much more enjoyable now that you're here. It was so fun to dress you up, spend time with family and show you what the Easter bunny brought you. You are much more interactive with your toys now- you love your O-ball and anything that "rattles." You'll put just about anything in your mouth, and your drool have been out of control this month! 

You are still sleeping throughout the night, which makes mommy so happy. You are a very curious baby- you always want to be in an upright position to be able to look around. You especially like when we read to you; you always seem so calmed just by our voices and look like you're just taking in everything we're saying to you. 
Braddles, you are honestly the best thing that has ever happened to us. I know we tell you that a lot, but it's so very true. You have taught us patience, time maintenance, and unconditional love..not just with you, but with ourselves as parents as well. We strive daily to be the best parents we can for you. We can only hope we can you realize just how very much you are loved!

Friday, April 5, 2013

The same 2lbs & NSV, etc.

Some title huh? Yea, I'm a little all over the place with this post. I've been meaning to blog all week, but obviously it hasn't happened.
I'll start here: I'm losing and re-gaining the same 2lbs. Seriously..210.4 to 212.4 then back to 210.4. It is really about to drive me crazy! I need to PUSH it, because I'm tired of seeing these numbers. I want to be in ONEderland..hello!
But I'll follow up with a Non-scale victory (NSV)..
I'm in my pre-pregnancy jeans! Only took 4 months, right? Ah, I digress.
As you can see, there is some major love handle issues going on, but hey..they're on and they zip and button. They are size 16, but I'm working hard to change that as well. Sigh, can you tell I'm in a rut??
Some extra tidbits with me lately:
  • I'm so super excited that the WSU Shockers are in the Final 4! This weekend's game should be really exciting to watch.
  • My sweet baby boy turned 4 months old yesterday!! Time flies when you're having fun. {4 month post should be up next week}
  • I've been using Sarah Mcnamara Miracle Skin Transformer and although that is a cheesy name for a really is a miracle. Let me know if anyone would be interested in a post on my skincare. I'm pretty much obsessed right now.
That's it for now. Follow me on instagram: alliemarshall627 for pics of what I'm eating, daily life and my sweet baby Bradley :)

Monday, April 1, 2013

Weekend Wrap-Up

Oops..I didn't post at all last week :-/ Must not have felt up to it. But in other news, we had an awesome weekend!! Jordan was off (yay), and got to see a lot of family, and watch a lot of basketball (go Shox!)
Saturday morning I had class, but hurried home afterwards for a busy afternoon. Jordan's aunt wanted to babysit Bradley so we decided to finish his Easter basket gift shopping while she spent some time with him. We went to Old Navy and Target and spent too much money..yikes. Then we headed back to Jordan's aunt and uncle's house to cheer on the Shockers!! Way to go 4!! It was an awesome game. We got home at about 11pm to get enough sleep for a fun filled Easter Sunday.

Sunday I woke up extra early to put together Bradley's first Easter basket. He got this exersaucer, 2 onesies, a WSU Shocker onesie and 2 toys. We got him all dressed in his seer sucker Easter outfit. His little bowtie was too cute..unfortunately he fussed a lot in his little outfit :( I think he was uncomfortable so it didn't last long. We went over to my parent's house for lunch and visited with some family members. We headed home for an afternoon nap then over to some friend's house for a Game of Thrones watch party and dinner. Ok, I don't much care for that show, but it is nice getting together with friends and meeting new people. Bradley was the life of the party with his sweetness.

It was a great holiday weekend. For the record, holidays are SO much more enjoyable with kids :)