The scale is still gone, people!! This is the longest I've gone without weighing myself since I started my weight loss journey January 8, 2010.
I actually feel very good about it. I haven't been obsessing and even though I feel a little anxiety since my weigh in is tomorrow and I don't know where I'm at; I feel fairly confident. I know I've worked out 4 times this week..I've tracked all my food and stayed at or 1-3 points below my daily points value. I've drank a lot of water..I've gotten at least 8 hours of sleep every night..what can go wrong? This is where that trust comes into play.
It feels nice to not let the scale dictate my feelings. I remember one Friday when I first started Weight Watchers I think I gained a pound or something-anyway-I came storming home and I didn't want to do anything the rest of the day. I was sulking because of a number. Isn't that just ridiculous? I should have been celebrating the fact that I went to Weight Watchers..I stepped on a scale in front of a stranger..I sat through the meeting and wasn't giving up. Instead, all I saw was a number.
Today I'm going to celebrate the fact that I've gone this long without my scale and stayed on track. I'm going to celebrate that I can run a mile in 16 minutes and I'm going to enjoy my evening with my husband and step on that scale proudly tomorrow!
I'll let you know the outcome :)

Wordless Wednesday

Back to Basics

Since I've gone "back to basics" I've decided to sign up for another race. On November 7th {one day after my birthday!!} I'm going to do the Inspire Hope Run. I've decided to only do the one mile instead of the 8k. Why would I do that when I've already run a 5k, you ask? Well, I'm back to basics. To be honest, I haven't even ran since my 5k in September so I know for sure I wouldn't be ready for the 8k. I think the one mile will be enough to boost my confidence to keep going. And guess who is going to be by my side? Only the best running partner ever..Marlene, of course.

Day 2 without a scale and guess what? I'm OK. I felt a little anxious without weighing this morning, but I had to keep telling myself..you had a great Zumba workout last night..you tracked all your points..got all your water in..and got a good night's sleep. I will be OK.

Fear:
Fear of not seeing the scale lower.
Fear of feeling disappointed in myself.
Fear of not accepting that I am doing the "right thing" with my weight loss journey.
Fear of feeling like all the hard work I put in at the gym isn't working.
Fear of not meeting my goal weight.
Fear of disappointing those around me.

Trust:
Trusting that I'm doing the "right thing."
Trusting that the Weight Watcher program actually works.
Trusting my ability to track my points correctly.
Trusting that my portion sizes are correct.
Trusting that I actually can lose weight.
Trusting that I can lose this weight in a healthy way.
Trusting how my body feels and not what the scale tells me.

Basically, what it boils down to is I have way too much fear about my weight loss journey. Whyyy can't I just take it one step at a time and trust myself that I'm doing the best that I can? Last night I finally cried. I let my frustrations finally get to me. And guess what my husband did? He hid the scale. For real this time. I am going to do this..the right way..I'm going to accept the fact that I have lost 4 pant sizes, 40 pounds since January 8th, and that I work out 5 times a week. I'm going to continue on my journey trusting that I'm doing the "right thing" and let nature run it's course. I need to put a little more trust in myself and my ability to lose this weight. Back to the basics..

Little late, I know..

OK- I'm a bad blogger! Sorry I'm a little late!
Tuesday was the Carrie Underwood concert. Let's all say it together...uh-maz-ing..

Love, love love her! Front row is definitely the way to go!! She is practically perfect.. body, hair and I was waiting on even ONE wrong note! But nope, she did not disappoint!

                                                Me before the concert
Friday I went to my weekly Weight Watcher weigh-in... -.2 VERY frustrating to say the least. BUT I did admit that I have fallen into a rut. My Dad signed up for Weight Watchers this week as well so now I'll have someone to go with. I stayed with him after the meeting and went over all the material again with our leader so it was kind of like I was "starting over" with the program as well. I'm going back to the basics with tracking in the Weight Watcher tracker instead of my complicated Excel spreadsheet and just re-learning the points on everything. I hope this helps get me back on track. So far for October I'm not on track with my goal of losing one pound a week to meet my goal weight of 150 by June 2011. I really need to step it up with the nutritional side. There for awhile I would binge on something..not track it..and just say "Oh well, I'll just work out extra hard tonight." Doesn't work that way, Allie!!
Sometimes we all just need a "do-over"..here's mine..



Wordless Wednesday

Not much to say today...
Except that I'm wearing a pair of Maurices slacks size 13/15 that I haven't worn since 2007!!...and so what if I have a little muffin top :) They fit, I promise!!

...Tomorrow: Carrie Underwood concert pics and recap :) Let me just say this..I love her even more than I did before!!

WW weigh in 10-15-10

First, I was losing my weight a pound at a time. It seems here lately I'm losing them ounce by ounce. AGAIN, this week I lost -.4oz. This is getting very frustrating. Any tips? I'm going to switch up my workout routines a bit. So, we will see.

(Yes, I have wood paneling in our den area :) )

On Thursday evening, my Mary Kay consultant called me and asked if I'd be interested in being a "face model" for their fall line. This goes back to those insecurities I have "You have a pretty face, but.." but I shoved those thoughts out of my head and told her I would. I absolutely LOVE MK products!! So, yesterday morning my mom and I went and it was very nice! Here I am on the way to the show:

 (EEk!! No makeup!)

And After..

They actually used a blue eyeshadow on me?? Which I wasn't used to, but I wasn't opposed to. It was a good day to get out with my mom too. After the fashion show we went to see the movie "Life as we know it." Tell me why I cried 6 times during this movie?! It was cute. Let me just say..I LOVED Katherine Heigel's (sp??) fashion and clothing in this film. She always looks so cute and put together. Something I need to work on!! Which brings me to...
My Carrie Underwood concert attire? COMPLETE! ...But that is for a different post :) :) :)



Wordless Wednesday

I want to be a Future Prior FatGirl !!!

Yup, that's right. I sent in my application today.

Whoop Whoop!

**crosses fingers**

a few things..

There are a few things I'd like to talk about today:

1. What am I going to wear to the Carrie Underwood concert???

I have this mental image of how I'm going to look, front row, when I see my IDOL. Too bad my vision is of me at 150 pounds! I'm thinking something like this:

Jennifer Hudson looks awesome and just so happens to be the spokesmodel for WW..whoop whoop!

2. Whyyy are people so ignorant about their health insurance coverage?

Ok. First things first..I am not proud of my job. It does not define me. I just pay your medical claims according to how your plan is written. Oh, you didn't know you needed a referral? Should have read your plan booklet. Oh, you didn't know your plan only covered at 80%? Not my problem. Imagine taking 60+ calls a day regarding issues like that. Take some responsibility, people. Moving on.. 

3. I'm considering just doing Gift Cards as gifts for Christmas this year.

$25.00 gift card to you..to you..and you. Easy enough, right? I think so too. Of course I will throw some Scentsy presents in there too :)

4. I'm going to start going to the 1pm WW meetings instead of the 10am starting Friday!

Last week before my weigh in I went to the ymca and got in a 30 minute cardio session and swam some laps. I felt awesome and rejuvinated all day! So, that's the new plan.

My Dad ran a half marathon!

I wanted to dedicate this post to my awesome Dad! On Sunday, 10-10-10, he competed in The Prairie Fire half marathon finishing {unofficially} at 2 hours and 40 minutes. Now, keep in mind that this guy has type II diabetes and has lost 70 Pounds!! He has since changed his lifestyle, running 4-5 times a week, weightlighting and keeping up with his grandkids. My Dad started training for this half marathon February 2010 running 4 to 8 miles 4-5 times a week. He is going to run the full marathon next year! I know he has been a huge motivation to me especially as I trained for my 5K..giving my tips about my shins, stretches etc.

My Dad crossing the finish line!

Me and my Dad in 2008

Proud of you, Dad!!

WW weigh in 10-8-10

This week at Weight Watchers I lost -.6lbs. I know in a few posts back I said that I am going to start appreciating any losses, but I honestly feel like I deserve to have lost more. I feel like ever since I lost -4lbs one week my body has been holding on to every pound. I think I'm going to start focusing on even more of the nutritional part of my weight loss journey. I feel like I have the activity part down..I absolutely love going to the gym {that still sounds so crazy to me} I love trying new things {yumba, running, etc} but the diet part has kind of stayed the same.
I do struggle more over the weekend than the week..for instance, if the hubs and I go to a movie..I feel like I need some sort of candy or snack. Or if we go out to dinner, I need to order an alcoholic beverage or pop. Why can't I just order water? I drink gallons of water throughout the week at work and have no problem. Whyy do I feel the need to drink a Dr.Pepper with a grilled chicken salad when I know it's not worth it? This week I'm really going to be on my A Game with the food I'm eating..I'm going to keep it as balanced as possible, whole grains, low carbs, vegetables, fruit, fiber, water..and then just keep up with my workouts and hope for a better loss next week! **crosses her fingers**

I want to wear {and look good in} cute clothes

For real, people. I looked in the mirror today and I look like a slob. A mess. scrub. sloppy..and all the other words opposite of fashionable. Today I am wearing trouser jeans that are size 18 and practically falling off of me..a black vneck and my Fuggs (fake Uggs). No accessories, barely any makeup, and I let my hair air dry today (gross). Like I've said in a few posts back, I want to go on a shopping spree! I'm just waiting on some miracle extra money to go on said shopping spree ;) It'll happen..soon.
The only other thing I can do is internet shop at this point..So, here are a few things I'm loving right now:

                                                      Target cardigan

Taget Tunic

Lauren Conrad for Kohl's

Forever 21

Forever 21

See? Even this stuff is pretty boring. I'm not fashionable and I don't claim to be, but I'd like to start dressing a little more clean cut! Hmm Allie, Maybe if you didn't wake up 45 minutes before you're supposed to be at work this could be an attainable goal...

Letters to my younger self..

Have you all seen "letters to your younger self" floating around blogland? They are neat to read, and so theraputic! I'm going to take a stab at it..

Dear 13 year old Allie,
Hold on tight because Middle School will be the worst three years of your life. No joke. There will be three girls who were your best friends (who you can now look back and laugh at) that will torment you every.single.day! Don't waste your time trying to make them like you. They don't like themselves! That is why they are mean to you. Don't worry about them; you have your awesome family to see you through..don't forget about the importance of your family..

Dear 15 year old Allie,
This is the year you will have your first real boyfriend. More like, the first real loser in your life. You will stick around with him for 19 months and think you are head over heels in love. You are wrong! He is a bad, bad guy..the type your mother warned you about. Why didn't you listen to her? You will spend the next few months after the break up trying to get him to leave.you.alone..even needing a protection from abuse order against him.

Dear 17/18 year old Allie,
You are in love! For real this time. Too bad you are in love with the wrong person who will lie, cheat and degrade you almost as bad as the previous boyfriend. You are wanting to grow up too soon. Slow down, sister! Enjoy your High School days! As soon as you are an "adult" (aka 18 years old) you will move into your first apartment with said boyfriend and play house for awhile..all while building debt. You will graduate High School, but are too worried about being in your relationship to think about post secondary schooling. You will continue to wait those tables and one day you will walk into your apartment to see another girl with your boyfriend. Your relationship will dramatically end. You are left to pick up the pieces for 2 years! You can do it though; you are stronger than you know!

Dear 19/20 year old Allie,
You are doing something with yourself! Remember when you always said you wanted to be a flight attendant because they wore those cute uniforms? Well, you are on your way to Phoenix, AZ sister! You will go through a grueling flight academy and be one of the 19 who graduate. You will move to Washington DC where you will navigate the subways, taxi, airports and town all by yourself without fear! You will get your first big paycheck and think you are literally going to be rich! Until..your airline files bankruptcy. Back to Kansas you go..to work at the most unsatisfying job ever..insurance.

Dear 21 year old Allie,
This is the year you will meet your future husband. You know it on the first date and even text your friend after he leaves "start planning the wedding!" This guy is too good to be true! So don't you dare take it for granted, Allie. This love is different than you've experienced in the past..it is mature, genuine and true. You will find out you're pregnant this year..all while planning a wedding. You are a planner though! You're planning for a baby and wedding..ok, so you're a little stressed. God decided your baby needed to be with Him in Heaven though..you will never forget your 14 week old baby. You and Jordan will get married on the freaking hottest day of the summer. And you really are a fat bride, Allie. But despite the weight you've gained, your husband looks at you like you are the most beautiful bride and expresses how much he loves you every day. That is why you continue to eat and not care much about your appearance. You will lose one more baby this year and hate the world for a little bit. You will eat your way through your emotions, but in the end find peace and the courage to start fresh.

Dear 22 year old Allie,
Your weight really has gotten out of control. The scale is tipping at 240lbs! You can barely walk from the parking lot to your office without being out of breath and those size 20 jeans are too tight to wear right out of the dryer. You are going to take control though. You will join Weight Watchers for the 4th time and dedicate yourself to the program. Nearly forty pounds will fall off one at a time..each pound a success. You will also become closer to your family this year. Your job still does not define you, but it is okay, Allie. You will find your place. You will continue to support your husband through his schooling because you know he is doing it to better your life together. You will start writing a blog because you love writing and love reading blogs and you will start selling Scentsy because you love to plan events and you love the product! Overall..you will be a much, much happier woman and full of love. <3

WW weigh in 10-1-10

I don't get it :( I gained .4 this week..on top of the 1pound from last week. Ugh. I worked out five time this week..tracked all my points..drank a lot of water..I just don't know. It's like the scale was "stuck" on the same number all week. I AM going to break through this week though!

I am not happy about this number..but It's a new month. A new month to work even harder, to watch my portion sizes, and lose more weight!
Happy October!!