Last week I attended my first "mom and me" class at the library. It was a nice little get together to read nursery rhymes and sing-a-longs and whatnot for babies 9 months and under. It was nice to get out of the house and socialize with other moms even though I still don't feel that I am officially part of the "moms club." (am I the only new mom that has felt this way?)
Anyway- at the class, I was asked-no joke- 5 times if I was going to be a stay at home mom to Bradley. Obviously, I'm assuming all of the moms there were SAHMs as the class was at 11am on a Wednesday. When I told them no, I would be returning to work in 2 weeks you could just see pure terror. You could see "How are you going to leave your sweet baby?!" written all over their faces. And, honestly the look I was given has stuck with me this past week.
Fortunately, Bradley will be going to my sister's daycare. I trust her with him and know he will be given great care. However, that doesn't stop the thoughts that fill my mind: Is he going to feel abandoned? How much am I going to miss out on? How is he going to adjust? Are we still going to have the same bond?
Most of those thoughts are selfish though, because let's face it- I'm Mom and feel I can do the best job taking care of my own baby. However, I also know that I have other responsibilities to take on within my family. I have to work to make money, plain and simple. My husband and I work very hard, but are your typical middle class family. One day- God willing and with hard work and determination- we will be more than the working poor, but until then I will be a working mom.
Don't get me wrong- I consider SAHMs as working moms as well.
Raising a child, getting them on a schedule, etc has been a rewarding
challenge these past 8 weeks, but a challenge nonetheless. In an ideal world, I would be with my son all day, everyday teaching him and watching him grow, but it is not feasible for us at this point.
I know going back to work in a week is going to be hard. I get emotional just thinking about it. How have you dealt with being a working outside of the home mom? Do I just need to accept the fact that this is how it has to be and the sad feeling will pass? I hope.
I know going back to work in a week is going to be hard. I get emotional just thinking about it. How have you dealt with being a working outside of the home mom? Do I just need to accept the fact that this is how it has to be and the sad feeling will pass? I hope.
3 comments:
I think it is always a case of the "grass is always greener on the other side...". I wanted to be a SAHM and when I had my oldest the economy went into the dump and my boss let me go for lack of work... but there are days where I think...I really wish I was working. Its nice to stay at home, dont get me wrong, but when the kids were really little I felt trapped at home with no adults around to chat with. It will be hard to go back but I am sure it will also be nice for you to get back into the groove.
I have always had to work. It has been my optionto give my kids the things they need. I have had guilt, of course but you do what is best for your family.
I have two boys and a baby on the way. I have always been a workning mom. It is hard. But unfortunately its the way it is. I have to work and I can't stay home. I teach school and plan my pregnancies the best I can to have the most time off with my baby but I have to work. You will feel sad. You will miss your baby. But it will get better and your baby will be just fine.
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