Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Facing the reality..

I forgot to mention that I started seeing a counselor to help me with my grief and depression after my 3rd miscarriage. I didn't really want to talk about it because of the embarrassment I was feeling. It has been 2 months (in 2 days) from my miscarriage and I really thought I would be able to pick myself up off the ground by least more than I have. But I am still crying..daily..mad at everything..everyone..negative attitude. I am still living in a timeline of what would have been. It is literally the worst feeling ever when you just feel darkness all around you and you are looking for any kind of silver lining and you just can't. This is what I'm working through.

I do have good news. On Monday the long wait to see the Maternal Fetal Specialist will be here. I don't know what he'll say, do, whatever, but I'm anxious to maybe have some answers, hope, positivity, and so on. We will just have to see.

Not looking for pity, just blogging my feelings. It really does help to acknowledge what I'm going through instead of being in denial and just hoping I start to feel better soon. That's not fair to my husband or myself. I can't wait to pull through this though.


Lynsey said...

I can't imagine what you are going through but I do know that there is no reason to be embarrassed! Good luck at the doctor and keep us posted.

SunshineRach said...

I recently suffered my first miscarriage it has been 6 weeks and i am only just moving forward now...I still think about it everyday and I cannot imagine the strength that you have to be dealing with the effects of your 3rd, I wish you hope and happiness and healing and fingers crossed for amazing results.