I forgot to mention that I started seeing a counselor to help me with my grief and depression after my 3rd miscarriage. I didn't really want to talk about it because of the embarrassment I was feeling. It has been 2 months (in 2 days) from my miscarriage and I really thought I would be able to pick myself up off the ground by now..at least more than I have. But I am still crying..daily..mad at everything..everyone..negative attitude. I am still living in a timeline of what would have been. It is literally the worst feeling ever when you just feel darkness all around you and you are looking for any kind of silver lining and you just can't. This is what I'm working through.
I do have good news. On Monday the long wait to see the Maternal Fetal Specialist will be here. I don't know what he'll say, do, whatever, but I'm anxious to maybe have some answers, hope, positivity, and so on. We will just have to see.
Not looking for pity, just blogging my feelings. It really does help to acknowledge what I'm going through instead of being in denial and just hoping I start to feel better soon. That's not fair to my husband or myself. I can't wait to pull through this though.