SAHM vs. working mom

Last week I attended my first "mom and me" class at the library. It was a nice little get together to read nursery rhymes and sing-a-longs and whatnot for babies 9 months and under. It was nice to get out of the house and socialize with other moms even though I still don't feel that I am officially part of the "moms club." (am I the only new mom that has felt this way?)

 Anyway- at the class, I was asked-no joke- 5 times if I was going to be a stay at home mom to Bradley. Obviously, I'm assuming all of the moms there were SAHMs as the class was at 11am on a Wednesday. When I told them no, I would be returning to work in 2 weeks you could just see pure terror. You could see "How are you going to leave your sweet baby?!" written all over their faces. And, honestly the look I was given has stuck with me this past week. 

 Fortunately, Bradley will be going to my sister's daycare. I trust her with him and know he will be given great care. However, that doesn't stop the thoughts that fill my mind: Is he going to feel abandoned? How much am I going to miss out on? How is he going to adjust? Are we still going to have the same bond?

Most of those thoughts are selfish though, because let's face it- I'm Mom and feel I can do the best job taking care of my own baby. However, I also know that I have other responsibilities to take on within my family. I have to work to make money, plain and simple. My husband and I work very hard, but are your typical middle class family. One day- God willing and with hard work and determination- we will be more than the working poor, but until then I will be a working mom. 

 Don't get me wrong- I consider SAHMs as working moms as well. Raising a child, getting them on a schedule, etc has been a rewarding challenge these past 8 weeks, but a challenge nonetheless. In an ideal world, I would be with my son all day, everyday teaching him and watching him grow, but it is not feasible for us at this point. 

I know going back to work in a week is going to be hard. I get emotional just thinking about it. How have you dealt with being a working outside of the home mom? Do I just need to accept the fact that this is how it has to be and the sad feeling will pass? I hope.

Weigh In {6 weeks postpartum}

My weigh in for week 6 was much more impressive than week 5.
I weighed in at 213.6. That's a loss of 3.8lbs..I'll take it! I have 9.6lbs to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. Then we'll be back to the "real" weight loss journey to get to my ultimate goal weight of 160lbs.

40 weeks pregnant vs. 6 weeks postpartum

So, at 6 weeks postpartum I went for a post-baby checkup. My doctor expressed that my postpartum weight loss was right on track and all my hormone levels were fine, but guess what? I am not yet healed after birthing a 9lb baby. I go back to get re-checked out on February 5th, so until then no working out or heavy activity. I want to heal so that I won't have to be re-stitched (sorry if TMI). So, taking it easy for the time being!

As for eating healthy, that is right on target as well. I feel like I am being extra conscious of everything I eat, whether it be I'm worried about the caloric value or if it will affect my son through breast milk. One area I do want to work harder at is drinking more water. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night while feeding Bradley and think how much water did I drink today? Any?  That can't be good. I also need to give up caffeine. Hmph. I've been saying that for years.

I'm looking forward to an even lower number on the scale next week, so stay tuned! 

Me and my sweet baby Bradley <3

Bradley's Nursery

I meant to post this post long ago. However, turns out, nearly 7 weeks since the baby has been born and the nursery is still not 100% complete eek. That's my fault though. I didn't really go into designing the nursery with a clear vision..I knew bits and pieces of what I wanted/liked only. So, this what we got:

 changing table the only difference is that we didn't add the wheels to it, it just stays put.
La Z Boy recliner we got this in the champagne color. At first I wasn't so sure about the color, but now I'm fine with it. I think the rocker/recliner was the best purchase we could have made. I'm so glad we broke down and spent the extra money on a La Z Boy. I found the Chevron throw pillow at Target and the color matches perfectly.
The Chevron curtains were made by my mom. I absolutely love chevron pattern and wanted accents throughout the room. I picked out the fabric here and I believe ordered 7 yards. It ended up making 2 panels for the curtains and a crib skirt. I was inspired by The lil house that could blog.

We ended up changing our minds and ordered this crib instead. I'm glad Jordan was persistent; I like the look of this one much better.

The personalized blankie is from my sister- she had it made when she did a student internship at Disney World. No bumpers on the bed..I just never really found any actual bedding I loved. I change his crib sheet from baby blue, navy, light green or tan. 

 The rug is from Target. I bought it in store, on clearance for $17 or so and can't find it online any longer. I bought it for the colors, not knowing if I'd actually use it, but couldn't pass it up because of the price. I'm glad I didn't because it ended up working out just fine. I almost bought a Chevron print rug, but couldn't decide on a color and thought it may have been too much. I think I was right.

The shelving also came from Target. The monogram was a gift from the bestie; I love monograms and obviously chevron. I love the idea of a "Oh, the places you'll go!" Dr. Seuss theme, but I'm not much for themes, so we just added some globes and maps around the room.

  The bookcase came from surprise, surprise..Target! I like that we chose the case with the doors for extra concealed storage. 

I wanted to add trinkets to the shelf with a "vintage" feel. The Mickey Mouse ears were mine from when I went as a child in 1993. All the books were mine as a child. The globe book ends were my grandfather's and the democrat donkey is a family heirloom. 

Overall I'm pleased with how it's turned out. I still want to put some kind of photo above the bed...or..something, I don't know yet. Suggestions? 
This was a fun project for me as I love to decorate, even though I'm not the best at it. I really never thought I'd get to design a nursery :) I love that my sweet boy has a space to call his own in our home.

 

Weigh In {5 weeks postpartum}

I'm behind on posting this! But I seem to be behind with everything since becoming a mom. Oh, motherhood :) Anyway, for week 5 I weighed in at 217.4. That is exactly one pound down from week 4. Not too impressed, but a loss is a loss.

 40 weeks pregnant vs. 5 weeks postpartum

(Please excuse the lack of makeup :)

This week I cooked with my George Foreman grill a lot more. I made grilled chicken breasts, ham steak and turkey burgers. I will usually eat my protein with brown rice or some kind of frozen veggie. I've been drinking a ton of water, and of course still breastfeeding. I've also found that my 12 pound baby makes for a great weight for squats :) Usually when he's fussy I bounce (squats/lunges) around 'shh-ing' him. That's about the only physical activity I'm getting in lately :-/ (I will explain the lack of exercise in my next weigh in, week 6)

Jordan ended up buying a Wii with his Christmas money. I bought the Zumba Wii game so I will be giving that a shot. I love Zumba, but making it to the gym hasn't been possible lately. So, I will be making a fool of myself at Zumba in the comfort of my own living room :)

I'm still wearing my maternity jeans which is embarrassing to admit. My pre-pregnancy jeans (size 16) zip and button, but are still leaving me with a serious muffin top. Not pretty at all. It can only get better though, right?...

I'm going to wrap this post up with a photo that's sure to leave you with a smile...

 

:) 

 

breastfeeding

Disclaimer: If you have no desire to hear about my breastfeeding journey no need to keep reading :) I'm also in no way a lactation consultant or expert!! Oh, and also I do advocate trying to breast feed, but do not have any judgement whatsoever towards moms that formula feed. just FYI!

Ok, I was one of those moms-to-be that when asked if I was going to bfeed I'd reply, "eh, I'll try..if it works, it works. If it doesn't I'm not going to beat myself up about it." So, it was much to my surprise when it just "clicked" for us and I wanted to exclusively bfeed. I remember actually crying when he latched for the first time. I think I was just shocked that it was actually working! I felt needed by him and I just had a strong desire to provide for him in any way he needed {food}.

 I delivered on Tuesday and by Friday my milk came in..holy cow, literally. I said to Jordan, "this is what I'd look like with implants!" Bradley was nursing every 2 hours or so, on demand.We never had any issues or pain with latching..the only thing was the first few times I nursed I needed to use the lanolin cream because my nipples would get really dry, which is to be expected.  Then that Saturday (4 days later) I had to go to school to take a final. My first time away from my baby! I knew I had to pump. I had bought a Medela manual breast pump because I didn't want to spent a lot of money on a pump if bfeeding didn't work for us. So I pumped with the manual pump and within 10 minutes I had 6oz. I was pretty impressed with myself! I had heard bad things about using a manual..that it hurt, that it took forever, etc. But I didn't have any issues with it at all.

I did cry when he was given his first bottle. Especially with it being only 4 days after he was born, I was worried he'd have nipple confusion, etc. I was nervous when I got back from my final that he wouldn't want to nurse anymore. Luckily, it didn't phase him. Anything with food he wanted!! I was so relieved that I actually started to not mind the bottle. I could pump a bottle really quickly in order for Jordan to feed him while I was showering or something. I felt like it took a lot of the pressure off of me to basically be sitting around bra-less, waiting on when the baby needed to eat next. So, now we always have a current bottle in the fridge just in case I needed someone else to feed him. Also, I learned that I am not a public bfeeder. I have NO issue with women nursing in public, but I can't bring myself to do it..not even at my grandmother in law's house at Christmas. I think because I am too uncoordinated to nurse discreetly lol.

Around 3 weeks old, Bradley started to latch, take about 3 gulps and pull off the breast and gasp for air. I did not understand what the heck was going on and it worried me because he would get very frustrated on the breast. Because I had such a positive experience with the lactation consultants at the hospital, I went to visit their bfeeding clinic. As soon as I showed them our issue they knew what the problem was. Turns out, I have an over active let down which basically means I spray him like a water hose when he latches! So, I was told I needed to start pumping more because I was becoming over engorged. Which was fine because I needed to start building a freezer stash for when he starts going to daycare. That solved that problem. Also, they recommended I cut out dairy and go gluten free for a week or so to see if that was effecting him as well. They were thinking he may have silent reflux. I was more than willing to change my diet for him and was gearing up to do so. However, by correcting the over active let down issue by pumping more I didn't need to anymore. All was right in our bfeeding world again! Yay.

I plan to continue bfeeding until he's done. I mean, obviously I'm not going to nurse until he's 8 or anything, probably only until he's one year old or so. I plan on practicing baby-led weaning or whatever keeps working for us. I feel like I've been pretty go with the flow when it comes to having a newborn and learning what works for our family to function. This just so happens to be working for us at the moment! Thanks for reading :) 

 

Weigh In {4 weeks postpartum}

This was last week's weigh in..I'm just getting around to posting. Lame, I know. I will be weighing in tomorrow for my 5 week post postpartum. Anyway, this is my first official weigh in since my son has been born. 

 Yikes.

However, I reached roughly 245 by the end of my pregnancy and I started at 204. So, as you can see, I have a ways to go to reaching my ultimate goal weight of 160lbs. Right now my major goal is to just get back to ONEderland. I know I can get there! 

I've re-downloaded the myfitnesspal app and I've been trying to eat "cleaner." I was gifted a George Foreman Grill for Christmas which has been verrry convenient. Also, I'm still breast feeding and I feel like that has helped quite a bit as well.

As far as my body..I have some major toning to work on. I feel "fluffy" everywhere..especially my mid section, obviously. I did go to the gym this week and got in my first postpartum workout, but I felt highly uncoordinated and really out of shape :-/ It can only get better.

Jordan is doing a Biggest Loser challenge at work so he is motivated to get healthier too. It is always a ton easier for me when we are both encouraged to lose weight. Having a happy, healthy family is my biggest motivator. 

  40 weeks pregnant vs. 4 weeks postpartum

and last but not least...

Me and my precious baby!!

Have a great weekend!!

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Bradley {one month}

Bradley bear,
I cannot believe a whole month has gone by. I think it's totally unfair that the last month of my pregnancy with you dragged on and on because I was so anxious for your arrival and now that you're finally here, every day passes too quickly!
It is hard to remember life without you because you make me feel so complete. I try to take in every moment with you, the good and the bad. I am so lucky to be your mom!

You are growing more and more every day. You are wearing size 1 diapers and 0-3 month clothing. You fit into a 6 month Carters sleeper, but my wishful thinking says it was a tag misprint. You were 8lb 13oz when we left the hospital and at your 2 week appointment you were 9lbs 12oz. I am so very thankful that you are a big, healthy boy. 

You are still eating like a champ as well. You are nursing on demand during the day, roughly every hour and a half. When you wake up from a nap, you are more than ready to eat and let me know! We bottle feed you at night of expressed breast milk and you sleep for about 3 hour stretches. 

Your sleep is touch and go. Some nights you are a wonderful sleeper and are easy to put to sleep. Other nights are a battle. You have started to fight sleep a bit- you will thrash your head around while your eyes are closed and just wail. I think we are getting our night time sleep routine down better now though. You are co-sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed at night and nap in your crib or pack n' play during the day. We will continue to get our sleep routines down before mommy goes back to work from maternity leave.

 This month you celebrated your first holidays- Christmas Eve with the Reeser/Reddicks, Christmas morning with mommy and daddy, Christmas day with the Marshalls and New Years with the Stewarts/Reesers. All of your family members love you so much. It seems like you brought a little extra joy to our holiday season. 

Bradley, I don't think I've ever loved anyone/anything as much as I love you. There are times I just stare at you and tears well up in my eyes because I can't believe I finally have you after 3 long years. Daddy and I have said plenty of times "I can't believe he's ours!" We feel truly blessed. I honestly cannot picture our life without you, or remember what it was like before you were here. It's like you were always meant to be with us. You have completed us!